Why I Think Social Media May Be Ruining All Of Our Friendships

Think about it. We're constantly connected, constantly turned on. If you're like me, part of your daily morning routine includes checking the usual social media websites: facebook, twitter, instagram, vine, snapchat, etc. We are constantly using social media to shove our nose into other people's buisness. And we let it be done right back to us, by uploading pictures and checking in somewhere anytime we leave the house, or tweeting witty quotes and dramatic lyrics. With social media, we can instantly tell what many of our close friends are doing, whom they're doing it with, and how they feel about it.

That's great…isn't it? It's great that we can see photos from vacations, or hear about how much fun you had at that concert last night. We can be up to speed on everything, like we never missed a beat. We can share our experiences with our friends and in return our friends share them. But do we really need to share everything?

Here is my attempt to rationalize this abstract concept of plastering our personal lives all over for the world to see. It might not seem abstract, but think about it for a few minutes and you’ll probably get really lost in your mind about what it all means and what it says about our generation and how soon no one will know how to have a face to face interaction. At least, that’s what happened to me. So maybe I’m just crazy and this isn’t such an abstract concept to anyone else.

Regardless, I tried to sum up how social media is ruining our friendships by giving you three main reasons. And here they are:

1) We Don't Catch Up Anymore

Simply because there is nothing to catch up on. If we constantly know what everyone around us is doing, what are we supposed to talk about when we get together? I find myself guilty of this too often. I am out to lunch or just hanging out with a friend and they start to tell a story of something they've done since we last saw one another and I interject "oh yeah I saw the picture! I didn't know Joe was going with you to that. Your new shirt looked great, by the way." How can we catch up one each others lives if there's nothing really to catch up on?

2) Hanging Out Turns Into Sitting In A Room With Someone Staring At Your Respective Phones

As previously mentioned, I am just as guilty of doing this as anyone else, it is just something that's really been nagging at me recently. I cannot get it out of my head. So much time spent with friends is becoming sitting in silence while we are on our respective technological device, tweeting about being with each other, or editing a picture of being together, but we're not really spending quality time together in doing this. Because we haven't missed anything, have we? (This takes me right back to reason #1). Not if we've been checking social media, or even just texting and iMessaging daily. That's the problem I think. That's as far as I can pin point it. Social media is damaging our friendships because it is allowing us to be with them in some form of the word almost 24/7. If we can be with them so much, how can we miss them? Absence makes the heart grow fonder, doesn't it? No absence means I know everything there is to know about what you've been up to and so while we're at lunch I'm going to check my news feed and see what other people are doing. 

3) Sometimes, we just need to be unreachable.

Not so long ago, people used to go out without cell phones or computers. They'd go out all of the time without them. And they'd survive. They'd do what they needed to do and come home. They would go days without talking to some of their best friends. Because they weren't always reachable. They weren't always connected, always turned on. I have this giant pit in my stomach and it's the unwavering fear that we are missing out on our lives because we're too busy posting about it on the internet. We don't know how to talk face to face anymore, or we don't do it nearly as often as we should. 

Going off of this, I think reasons 1-3 happen because we don't have an attention span anymore, at least not really. Holding eye contact with someone for a five minute conversation at the bank seems invasive and uncomfortable. We can't pay attention to anyone for longer than a few minutes, and that's because we're used to the constantly updating constantly changing world of the internet. We'd rather sit on our phones like have a face-to-face conversation with someone for a few hours makes us fidget and feel trapped.

Here's my suggestion: the next time you're with a friend…maybe you should accidently leave your phone at home. Or in the car. And see what happens.

…But then again, what do I know? Because part of me thinks I’m adding to the problem by posting this.

good reads, summer 2013

One of my favorite things to do at any time of year is curl up with a good book. I am not picky about the genre, I'll read anything, especially if you give me a testimony telling me how great it is. However, during the school year I often find myself too busy reading books I'm being told to read, instead of reading for my own enjoyment. That is where summer comes in. Summer gives me the time I don't have the rest of the year, the time to read at my leisure, whatever I want to read. I can read for as little or as long as I want, and it is my own little slice of heaven.

This summer, I've been reading quite a variety of books and wanted to share some of them with you, especially because all of them are also coming to the silver screen as well. Don't get me wrong, I love films, but I am always partial to the book's telling, and like to read the book before I see the movie whenever I can. Alright, enough rambling, onto what I read:

The Spectacular Now by Tim Tharp

 I must admit. I watched the trailer for this movie first before I had any idea it was a book. I watched the trailer religiously and knew automatically I needed to see it as soon as it came out in my area. My good friend who showed me the trailer is also the one who informed me that it was also a book. A few days later I was at Barnes & Noble with a gift card burning a hole in my pocket, when I came across the book on display on a shelf. I couldn't resist. I bought it and started reading it the same night. I couldn't put it down and finished it the next afternoon.

The book tells the story of Sutter Keeley, a senior in high school with quite an alcohol problem, stemming from a troubled family and a huge "carpe diem" complex. The story unfolds and explores the concept of first love, as he finds himself spending time with girl who is completely opposite of him (shy & introverted). This story is beautiful. It brings you up just to tear you down, and tears you down just to bring you right back up. And the whole time it just seems so real, like a breath of fresh air. I really don't want to give anything away, but I really want you to read it.

After finishing it, I am just more excited for the movie. I hope it starts playing around here soon! I do already see some differences from the book but the hope I have for this movie is unreal. I think it could be a real life-changer.

Here's the trailer for the movie, currently out in limited release:

 The Fault In Our Stars by John Green

 Alright, I'm a huge John Green fan. Looking For Alaska sits on my elite shelf of "favorite books I've ever read" (yes, I have one of those). This being said, it took me forever to read this book. I think it was because I'm quite stubborn, and after reading Alaska and hearing that this book was going to be made into a movie and not the former, I was pretty upset. How annoying am I? Like, really. Also, I did read Papertowns and liked it, but it wasn't up to the par set by Alaska. God, I sound like such a snob. Oh well. Anyways, after one of my friends kept insisting I read it, I gave it a chance and picked it up from Barnes & Noble using the same gift card I used to buy The Spectacular Now.

I began reading The Fault In Our Stars at 9:30pm on a Thursday night and finished at around 1am that same night. Needless to say, I was enthralled in the story, breathing in the characters with each page I turned.

The book tells the love story of Hazel, a terminally ill cancer patient, and Augustus, a cancer patient who is currently in remission. And that's all I really want to say, because again, I want you to experience it for itself.

I will tell you that it will break your heart. And it will do it in the most beautiful way possible. It will leave you feeling like you had been breathing without living. Looking but not really seeing, seeing but not really being.

The movie adaptation just began filming and is expected to be released into cinemas next year.

Divergent and Insurgent by Veronica Roth

The Divergent series is The Hunger Games of 2013, and I feel like that is really the best description I can give. I don't think the series is as good as THG to be quite honest, but it it still good, nonetheless.

The series is set in a dystopian society at some point in the future (hence THG). The society is proken up into 5 factions (the selfless, the brave, the smart, the peaceful, and the honest). When a child turns 16, they choose which faction they are to spend the remainder of their life in, the one they grew up in or a different one. The Katniss of the story, Beatrice or Tris, transfers from the selfless faction to the brave faction. Let's just say, she is much more than the simplicity of a faction, and all hell is about to break lose as the balance of the society is starting to teeter.

I enjoyed the first book moreso than the second, and I think that's honestly because throughout most of the second book I could not stand the protagonist. I felt towards Tris how I often felt towards Katniss, annoyed. Moral of the story is books about 16 year old heroines call for a lot of angst and selfish actions that I don't particularly care for. For the most part though, Roth was able to justify Tris' actions and feeling and thus my frustration with her never became too much of a problem.

If you like The Hunger Games, read this series. You will like it.

The third and final book of the trilogy, Allegiant is set to come out this October.

A movie adaptation of the first book, Divergent, has been filmed and is set to be released in March of 2014.


Interestingly enough, all three of these movie adaptations will star Shailene Woodley. Girl is on a roll nailing the good roles and her career is going to skyrocket in 2014. I honestly couldn't stand the girl based on the horror that is The Secret Life of the American Teenager, but all of that changed when I saw her in The Descendents. The girl can act, and I am excited to see her play such different characters in the next year!

And that's all I've got.

Anew

Some things you can come to find on this blog as it starts to grow and flourish:

• What I've been reading
• DIY's I've been creating
• Products I've been purchasing
• Life I've been living
• A dash of pop culture
• A hint of a sad girl

So, if any of that tickles your fancy, you've come to the right place my friend! I am a girl. I am a nerd. I am annoying. I am high-pitched and alive!